Ashlee Brooke

A year ago, Facebook reminded me about this picture I posted along with newly learned information about my birth mom. I love talking about my adoption story because my heart is always filled with immense gratitude and my testimony on forever families is always strengthened

I think about my birth-mom quite often. Not a day goes by where I wish I could embrace her, endlessly thank her, and let her know I’ve had such a wonderful happy life because of what she did, one of the hardest things-- something I could never have done— giving her twin babies up for adoption. I mean, have you not see posts on mothers giving their children up for adoption? I literally ball my eyes out watching those. Like this one from "His Grace."

I can't imagine the worry she has lived with wondering if she did the right thing. I always wonder if she thinks about us on our birthday, each year as we get older. I wonder if she thinks, "Wow, my babies are now 22." I always wonder if she ended up cleaning herself up. I wonder about my two other half sisters. I wonder about my birth-dad. I wonder if she found happiness and peace with her decision to give us up almost 23 years ago. I wonder a lot of things.

However, whether I meet her in this life or in heaven, I want to reassure her that I have been given the best and most perfect family, grew up in the best community both in Arizona and in high school when we moved to the Marshall Islands. I gained a wonderful education after high school and received a college degree (thanks to my parents for pushing me to do so), married a wonderful man in the LDS temple, and been blessed with a happy and healthy life with experiences and opportunities I would have never been given if it weren’t for her one right decision. I hope she is proud of who and I because I know she looked for those qualities in a family to give us up to because she wanted the best life for us.

I want her to know she gave me so many amazing qualities and that we have so much in common from that information I learned exactly last year. I re-read those papers and imagine how similar we actually do look since I find it so amazing that I already look so much like my family I have now.

Heavenly Father knew I needed my Momma Kathy on this earth because we have such an inseparable and indescribable bond that I would never change for the world and I know it wasn’t just a coincidence I was blessed with her as my mother here on earth. I would be nothing without her or my father, who gave me the BEST life. A life I could have never had if it weren't for the gift of adoption.

Here is the post I made a year ago after I found out more information about my birth-mother.

October 25th, 2016--

“Life is truly a miracle and something I will never ever take for granted. As many of you know, I am adopted along with my other siblings. Today, I learned more details about my birth story and I was shocked to find myself becoming emotional about it, which I never thought I would. We had a very rough start and as I learned more details, I am amazed and truly humbled that we have turned out they way we have due to all the factors. My birth mother was a drug addict, my twin brother and I had many complications when we were born. We were 2 1/2 months premature and our mother had been smoking and using cocaine and heroine throughout her whole pregnancy with us. We were born having severe drug withdrawals along with other medical issues.... (sorry it's another long post)

I became emotional as I learned through new information, that I resembled my birth mom both physically and personality wise. We had so many common passions and hobbies. She loved interior design and artsy and crafty things. She wanted to keep us so badly but her addictions were too bad so she was forced to give us up by the State orders where we went in and out of foster homes as well as the hospital for more medical conditions.

I am forever grateful for her decision to give us up. I hope to one day, whether in this life or in heaven, thank her over and over again because I couldn't imagine the life I would've had living and not having the gospel or my amazing family and the opportunities I have been blessed with today. God works in mysterious ways. My mom had been praying for twins for 10 years before she got us and and her prayers were finally answered in August of 1995.

God couldn't have given me a more perfect family. My mother and I are practically the same person. We resemble one another (along with my sister) and we, too, had the same personality traits, passions, and love for interior decorating and all things crafty. I don't want to say I lucked out because this wasn't luck. This was God's will, not just pure coincidence. God has such a perfect plan way better then our own. My mom couldn't have said it any better than this,"Our family was 'God made' not 'man made.'" ❤️

Ashlee Thomas

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In October 2008, during our fall break, we boarded a plane to a place I had never ever heard of. The Marshall Islands. Yeah, you're probably thinking, what the heck are those? Its a tiny military base in the middle of the Pacific Ocean between Hawaii and Guam, where they test missiles. You think with the word, "Island" I would be jumping up and down with my bags already packed and ready to board that plane. Instead, being the 13 year old teenager I was, I grumpily walked into the Sky Harbor airport at 4:30 in the morning wishing that we were staying home for fall break so I could hangout with my friends instead of visiting my dad on this tropical exotic island in the middle of the pacific ocean. All I knew was there was a day layover in Hawaii and I was a little excited to say I went to Hawaii, but not the Marshall Islands. I don't know, I guess that was the teenage brain thinking because I definitely needed an attitude adjustment.

This tiny little island has been apart of my life for 10 years now. It seems like yesterday that we were visiting my dad there for two weeks in 8th grade and remember walking into the teen center there (because my dad forced us to go meet the kids that lived there) and Mary McPhatter and Kori Dowell were there and were like, "You guys are the new twins! You guys have to move here!" I thought in my head, no way in heck am i living on a tiny island leaving my "perfect" life in Gilbert, AZ.

8 months later, we were on a plane moving there and it was the best decision our family has ever made. I went to high school here and visited my parents during the holidays in college. I remember getting on the plane and looking out the window and bawling in my mom's lap because I was leaving everything I knew behind.

Back in 2009 on the last leg almost to KWAJ

The day we moved to Kwaj, my new home

Looking back at it now, it seems like a dream. It is so hard to describe and tell people about this beautiful place because you have to experience yourself. It feels like it was straight out of a movie, it was so perfect (well looking back now). To ride your bike to school everyday and everyone on the island had the privilege of coming home for lunch to be with their families.

You lived literally right next door to your best friends. We spent a lot of our days at Kori Dowell's house. We would walk through the back door like it was our own home, grab whatever Mama D or Pat was cooking, usually rice in the rice cooker, drizzle some soy sauce on it, grab a Capri sun, and grab a blanket and go sit on the famous green couch and pop in a Disney movie.... but let me remind you, we COULDNT take Kori's special spot on the far right corner.

Our school was comprised of a high school and junior high combined with about 113 students total. You had most of your classes with your grade. Your grade usually consisted of about 15-22 students. I definitely lucked out. We had 18 girls in our grade and about 4 boys. Everyone knew everyone. One class I don't think any of us would forget is Mr. Jahnke's history class. All of us 10th grade students at the time were all piled into his computer room and never learned anything because we never listened. My brother and I were usually fighting across the room (it was actually quite funny) and we always tried to play tricks on our teacher.

We had nothing to do on weekend nights since you know, we were stuck on a tiny island, so we would usually end up riding our bikes around the island for hours and then end up at the teen center, the beach, the high school field, skate park or at the rec center and sit outside and sweat from the humidity. You always knew where everyone was because if there was a pile of bikes out front, you knew thats were the party of high school kids was.

During our school breaks, we would hop on a plane and fly to another island 30 minutes away (Roi-Naumur, also known as the Bachelor Island with NO kids) (FOR FREE) to spend the weekend there. We got to stay in the "Bachelor's quarters" and would every night there we would go to the Snack bar, order a Roi Roger (Coca Cola and grenadine) and order a greasy tray of beer battered chicken and onion rings. We then would finish off the night swimming, dying our hair, and making infamous videos and sit on the same bed listening to reggae music.

We had 4 "restaurants" to choose from: Burger King, Subway, Anthony's pizza, and Baskin Robbins. They were located in the snack bar. We usually went there, ordered Subway, and got on the wifi there, since that was the only wifi available on island. Yes, we had dial up internet at home and it was SO slow. We had no cell phones because why would you? You live on a tiny 1.2 mile island and you were usually ALWAYS with your friends anyways.

I never will forget

Always having a wet butt from your bike seat because it rained at least once a day and your bike was your own form on transportation rain or shine
Everyone living in the same type of housing (military housing) from the 1960's
laying on our high school bleachers in awe of the stars in the sky,
tsunami evacuations
jumping of the WWII ships that were half sunk in the water (yes, it was illegal)
renting a boat for the day and almost dying through Bigej (Bee-Jee) pass,
running around the island at 11pm at night by myself because there was nothing to worry about,
running into the 82 degree all year round water at Emon beach after soccer practice
knowing every little thing about every one in high school,
high school parties gone wrong
hanging out at the skate park; feeling the wind pick up; and then running for cover because YOU KNEW that rain was coming
85 degree weather all year round
Sea Glass was our "treasure"
Always seeing your principal/ school teachers at the free gym we had for the community
Almost dying from a coconut falling off a tree while riding your bike home
NO TOURISTS
Playing soccer games and other sports against works teams because there was no other schools to compete against
Sleeping over at Mary McPhatter's every October before the Columbus Day 7.52 mile run and her dad feeding us peanuts and toast before we had to go run
Your friends swimming in the Olympics representing the Marshall Islands
Always being so excited for summer because that meant everyone got to fly home and visit their families in the hometowns
Visiting Ebeye (a third world country) and having all the little kids always wanting to take pictures of them
Getting Diet Coke from the fountain at the snack bar because that was the only place on the island
waiting weeks and weeks for something you ordered to arrive

Kwajalein is where I found myself. It shaped who I was and I learned so much about myself during my teenage years there. It was a great place to be away and separated from the real world and realize what was truly important in life.It will forever be apart of my life and I am forever grateful for that tiny little 1.2 mile island and my second family and friends that we've made there; especially my SMAKEM girls. No matter where we are in life, we are always there for each other during our big milestones in life.

When we unexpectedly decided to move home to Arizona after 2 1/2 years of living there (In 2012), at first I was kind of excited to experience real high school with my other friends. As the date got closer, I was heartbroken and devastated. I didn't want to go. It was the hardest goodbye I had ever said. We moved back to our old house and for the first 4 months, I hated Arizona. I laid in bed every night crying wishing I could go back and always ended up on the phone with Shannon crying to her and telling her I wish I had never left. Over time it go easier and I met Kalvin, my now husband. He made it a lot easier and he was able to see a glimpse of what my life was there by meeting my friends there and calling me everyday while I visited there for graduation a year and a half later.I never thought I would see that place again. Its been a couple years since I have been back, but like my mom says, "There is a reason that this island is shaped like a boomerang, because you always keep finding your way back."

http://alifemapped.com/kwajalein-republic-of-the-marshall-islands/